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jerkofficial:

jerkofficial:

lets play a game, guess what im eating

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nicotinerampage:

telemiscommunication:

telemiscommunication:

Fairy World?

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Scary World

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You’re not that scary.

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Well, here’s a picture of your grandma’s feet! 

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It burns! 

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Fairy World?

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Hairy World.

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Dairy World?

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Hairy World.

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Oh, darn it!

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you know you’ve seen that show too many times when you read all that in their voices.

tennants-hair:

i found myself on omegle

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like are you fucking kidding me there were 44,000 people online but i’m still forever alone

carryonmy-assbutt:

rose-for-a-tenner:

carryonmy-assbutt:

guys what do hostages do if they have to pee really badly

like do the bad guys let you have toilet breaks or escort you to the loo

My cousin was held for 36 hours by the Gulf cartel. He said they were pretty chill about bathroom breaks.

I want more to that story

beccamakalapua:

punkasslouis:

punkasslouis:

I’m hiding naked in my closet because there are mattress delivery men in my bedroom and no one thought to tell me so I was just doing my naked thing after my shower and then I was very unceremoniously shoved into my closet and I don’t know how long I have to be here I don’t have snacks or anything

update: I found a chocolate bar on my shelf but also my phone battery is at 20% I feel like bear grylls

don’t you have clothes in your closet

deverse:

my mom meant to post a picture of her dog and posted a picture of a turkey insteadimage

leftyrosenthal:

e-gay:

the whispered “oh my god”… the look of of humiliation on the childs face… the brother is tired

lmfao I am both of them at the same time